What are your main goals in parenting/education of kids?

I really struggle with this. I don't want to discipline my child to the point that I'm changing who she is. There are times that she's quite mischievous and does things that most parents would get mad at and discipline over, but I over look them. I don't budge on some things though, for example on respect, if she disrespects me, or anyone else, then she will get punished, usually by time out. And I'm teaching her that she does not have the right to hurt another person, physically or emotionally. I know in some areas that parents would think that I am too lax or let her get away with too much, but I recognize her own quirky, sweet personality. As far as critical thinking and problem solving, when she does something wrong, I will ask her what she could have done different and what she thinks she will do next time. Sometimes when we are out she will see kid throwing a tantrum or something (which of course she has done too) and when we get home she will tell me something about that kid and about what that kid could have done differently to not end up getting in so much trouble. I love her observation skills and reasoning ability!